womanthismonth.com | JUNE 2025 PARENTING 86 The Empty Swing Set: NAVIGATING THE HEARTBREAK OF CHILDHOOD FRIENDSHIPS MOVING ON Ouiam El Hassani muses on how parents can help their children cope when a close friendship ends, offering comfort and guidance through the heartbreak of young connections changing or fading. That familiar hush has fallen over your home – the kind that settles when a vibrant presence is suddenly gone. Your child, usually a whirlwind of imaginative play, sits quietly, a shadow of their usual self. Perhaps their best friend – the one they built Lego kingdoms with or shared whispered secrets during sleepovers – has moved away or changed schools. As parents, our hearts ache alongside theirs. Childhood friendships are more than just shared snacks and playdates; they are the foundation of emotional growth. These early bonds help children learn empathy, compromise and the delicate dance of human connection. When one of these friendships ends, it can feel like a seismic shift in your child’s world. For younger children, the permanence of absence is hard to grasp. ‘Far away’ is an abstract concept, and they may repeatedly ask when their friend will return. This confusion may show up as clinginess, tears or even regression to earlier behaviours. Older children and teenagers may have a deeper understanding of loss, but the emotional toll can be just as heavy. Friendships at that age often involve vulnerability and trust. When a confidante disappears, it can trigger loneliness and affect self-esteem. They might retreat emotionally or become irritable. Digital connections may remain, but these can sometimes serve as bittersweet reminders of what has been lost. Our instinct as parents is to soothe. The first step is to acknowledge and validate their feelings. Avoid quick reassurances. Instead, say: “It sounds like you’re really missing your friend. It’s completely understandable to feel sad.” Be a patient listener. Encourage them to talk about their friend, share memories, and explore their emotions. If staying in touch is an option, support them through video calls, letters or even a visit. Help them cherish the friendship and encourage them to invest in current relationships and seek new ones through shared activities. Healing takes time. Be consistent in your support and remind them that a wide range of emotions is normal. Conversations about change can also prepare children for the possibility of friends moving in the future. When a move is imminent, help them focus on the positives of their friend’s journey while acknowledging the sadness. Role-playing goodbyes or creating keepsakes can offer closure. That empty swing set or quiet desk may be a stark reminder of absence, but through listening, empathy and gentle guidance, we help our children build resilience. In time, the sadness fades and new friendships bloom – rooted in the lessons and love from those that came before.
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